personality

personality n. the combination of characteristics or qualities that form an individuals distinctive characterI've been home for some time as a full time mom raising a young child, as you already know from reading this very blog. I have too much time to think about things. My brain seems to run all day. While I was driving to our morning coffee and munchkin ritual today, I got to thinking about personality and the role it plays in our lives. It's such an odd thing - this term personality that we choose to signify all of the good, bad and ugly things we tend to do regularly. It becomes really important in our day to day lives and interactions. I think this scene from Pulp Fiction best sums it up.[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nJCzrSENHnQ]In certain situations, I have been described as somewhat quiet. Growing up I was rather shy and would frequently not know what to say. Yet when you get to know me, whether through my writing or by just hanging out with me, you soon come to find out my quirky, goofy personality - my collection of characteristics that make me Kim. I've never actually sat down and thought about what these characteristics are. I suppose I can be a pessimist at times, but I always hold onto hope - so I'm not super negative or anything. I'd describe it as having a firm grip on reality. I can be stubborn - I'd rather say "determined" and that has led me to achieving goals I set in my little life. I love to laugh. Whenever I reconnect with people from my past they always mention how much I used to laugh...even if something wasn't THAT funny. I think I've made quite a few people think they are actually a lot funnier than they are. I am terrified of bugs...and I mean terrified. I once called my husband crying on a business trip because there was a bee in house...in the room upstairs, with the door closed...completely distraught because I was terrified of going near it. I frequently make my dog Stella eat spiders and other insects I find around the house. She's like a 60 pound furry aardvark. I would also say that I am somewhat of an idealist. I expect a lot from people. I assume that most will do the right and honorable thing all of the time and get really disappointed when they don't. But I am forgiving. I love a genuine apology. I adore honesty even more.So that's sort of a summary of my personality. Just a blurb. I guess I can add that I love hip hop and gangster rap. Being a 5'2 very caucasian female adds some humor to that characteristic when you drive a large orange Honda Element with the whitest baby in the world sitting (and dancing) in the back seat.I haven't really cultivated this personality of mine. It's taken me quite some time just to admit to some of the characteristics that comprise "me." I feel it would be inauthentic - which is another characteristic for my collection. I like things as they are - unforced and natural - like my son. It's somewhat refreshing to be around a toddler for this reason. He can't help but show his true colors all of the time - especially when you don't want him to. He  is the most authentic person I know. Perhaps sometimes a little too authentic. He's terribly stubborn and outspoken at times. He can be a bit shy with new people at first but warms up pretty quickly. He loves to dance and be the center of attention. He is in fact very much a ham. He generally doesn't want his mom to be doing anything but paying attention to him - including running with the jogging stroller. His personality was so strong today that he screamed the entire 2 miles drawing several looks of pity from everyone that passed us along the trail...including the wild turkeys and dogs.I can already see how my own personality is starting to rub off on him...in not such pretty ways. I suppose it's a good thing he spends so much time with the dog. She's very calm and zen...and protects me from all of the spiders and bugs. Having a second insect killer in this household is definitely a good thing.